Monday, March 26, 2012

Hard Drive Deadbeats: GOREGRIND

Oh boy, here we go. Looking at the 12 albums above it's no surprise that we've hit the infamous goregrind genre. The most inconsistent, inept and inane category in heavy music today spiderwebbing into a multitude of subspecies including gorenoise, deathgrind, grindgore and its bastard second cousin pornogrind (with all the noisome ilk that comes with that label). Impossible to really classify without using a dozen hyphens, lets just say when you're puking your guts out it doesn't matter what you've eaten, it's still all vomit. Huh. So where do we begin? Typical downturned gurgly nonsense replete with horror movie / porno samples. Half with a low-rent drum machine, the others with a low-rent drummer intent on simply plodding the double bass drum constantly for 40-second bursts of noise. For a genre that I'm not really wild about in the first place (save for the amazing Dead Infection and iconic Regurgitate) it's weird how much of the shit I buy or download. I don't know what the hook is, maybe it's a band name that gets a dry smirk, a humorously offensive album cover or simply a connection to another band I like (lots of 7-inch B-sides here). Regardless, the nine bands destined for the recycle bin today are Annorectal Protuberance and their 2004 demo Rancid Melanoma Vaginal (the sadly Engrish title should have stopped me at the door but, hey, I dig anal creampies); GUT wannabes Bitch Infection (humorously, the reason I got this album is my old band stole the same dead drowned blonde dude from for our album cover and I just had to check out the competition); another painfully tired GUT clone from Italy tastefully named Funeral Rape (four albums here: A Chainsaw In The Cunt, SEXperiment, split CD with fellow cut-out bin resident Dick's Ablation, and Porn Afterlife); Intestinal Infection's soporific side of their split with Regurgitate; Uruguay's Lamida Vaginal with their awful, awful 2010 demo Canibal Violador (hot cover though); Pulmonary Fibrosis's tepid effort from their split with mincecore legends Agathocles; Queef Huffer's marginally tolerable Infatuation With Vaginal Flatulence; the godawful Sodomizing Pornogenerator; and last, but not least, the (thankfully) defunct German one-man unit Vomitous Discharge. Look man, I'm not trying to throw stones, I dig the "creativity" concept here and that's great you were all able to hold it together long enough to get some tunes out there... it's just way below whatever floating standards I have today for the music library. If you're a real fan of this stuff, however, I urge you to check out Goregasmic Pornoblastoma, the one-stop blog on the web for all your "(blank)grind" needs. Bring an overcoat and wear your shades...

Currently watching: Touch Of Death
Currently listening to: Misfits Legacy Of Brutality

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