Look Out Fresno

First off, I fucking hate country music. That being said, it's been far too long since I have seen a decent rip of this seminal lo-fi classic anywhere so I decided it was time to grit my teeth and reintroduce Jon Wayne's half-assed attempt to cut a C&W record to the world. And who am I fucking kidding, the album absolutely rules. A Texas ('natch) friend of mine enlightened me to its existence - according to Austin urban legend the band is actually the Butthole Surfers drunk as fuck in a recording studio playing some improv material. And if you listen closely... it's not too far-fetched imagining a drunken Gibby slurring his way through the setlist and the picture on the back cover kinda looks like Gibby as well. Yet, I've heard from someone who actually saw the band play live definitively state that it was in no way the Surfers, although "I wouldn't put it past those guys to hire a bunch of half-assed musicians to play for them while they stood in the crowd and had a laugh." And shit - there's been a couple live vids on YouTube since then to snuff out all the mythology as well. Regardless, sit back and prepare yourself for a strange trip down a tired, dusty, whiskey-soaked road of off-key, out-of-tune, primitive cunt-ry music that only gets better as the band gets drunker. I'm amazed the pissed-off engineer (who bitches at the band the whole fucking time) actually saw this one through. "Texas Wine" is easily the standout but nearly every track holds its own - the title track, "Mr. Egyptian," "I've Got Texas"... an amazing 50 minutes. Just don't let your truck end up in the drink... Yip.

No Go Diggie Die

Texas II

I was going to call this post "Texas" but then realized the almighty Cosmic Hearse had already used that title for Jon Wayne's first album, Texas Funeral. Oh well. And like most sequels, while the anticipation may be higher, production better, etc, etc... you can never quite attain the accidental greatness of Part One. Such is the case of Two Graduated Jiggers, Wayne's uneven sophomore effort. I salivated when I first got this relatively elusive album in my hands... 21 tracks! And then I listened to it. It's the same Wayne, sure, just not as brilliantly bargain-basement, funny, or catchy. While the first album is an alcoholic unrehearsed country one-take dirge in front of a confused and irritable sound engineer, the second is... carny music? There is so much going on, so many overdubs, inserts, effects, skits and samples that none of the songs ever get a chance to develop a hook. Especially with the vocals... all of Wayne's "yips" and cackles that made you guffaw on Funeral are done ad nauseum here to the point where it actually gets annoying. There are a few stand outs, "Las Vegas Audition" for the most part is untouchable and "Texas Jackin' Ledge" is probably the closest thing to a radio hit he'll ever have. For these tracks alone this album is worth it, for the rambling Wayne-isms it gets a little long in the tooth. I'd rather listen to Funeral all over again. Twice.

Abu Dhabi Dumb