We Don't Want You Here

After the Arghoslent post the other month I decided to revisit the lone Mudoven CD in my collection, 1998's Truth And Tragedy. Content-wise it's exactly what you'd expect from the guitarist of Vaginal Jesus; music-wise it's rather... thin. Mudoven is a one-man band with Jim Crow fulfilling the vocal and drum machine roles as well as pluck the six-string. The lyrics are kinda funny in a über-offensive sorta way but any credibility is lost in the ridiculous overproduction - an overdub nightmare that is mastered so high on treble it (intentionally?) seems the antithesis of bass-heavy hip-hop. If only it could have been recorded with a full band on some lo-fi analog cassette - the muddy roughness would have really added something. While miserably racist, it's all so over the top you get the idea that (as with VxJx) it's an ultra-bad taste joke done simply to piss off the people who make an effort to be pissed of about stuff like this. Of course there are back-woods rednecks who take this shit completely seriously which shows just how retarded those slack-jawed hicks really are.

Tri-State Terror

Reinforcing The Stereotype

I'll admit I'm a sucker for offensive shit, especially when it comes to music. Already a guilty fan of Vaginal Jesus and (to a lesser extent) Mudoven, I figured I'd give the off-color death metal outfit Arghoslent a try. While their older material isn't much to speak of (especially the shitty demo compilation album), I did find myself digging 2008's Hornets Of The Pogrom. Typical late-90's death metal with occasional Slayer-ish thrash influences, the band has gained some notoriety thanks to their racially-tinged lyrics. I was almost quasi-digging 'em until I read the LP liner notes proudly proclaiming the record was "recorded South of the Mason Dixon line." Ugh. It's probably not surprising to readers that I'm not a fan of Virginia. Fuck the fact that I've called it my state of residence for the last long-ass thirteen years; I am a hard-headed New Englandah by birth and simply cannot get over the fucking idiotic racist stereotype that so many Southern rednecks seem to embrace as a pitiful tribute to their historical roots. If Arghoslent were more tongue-in-cheek I would be way more forgiving, the fact that living in the Old Dominion seems to give them some legitimacy just makes me bitter. I gotta move...

Clint Z Hilton

Ha Ha Holocaust

Terribly hollow VBR rip of a scratchy LP by thirteen bands that absolutely do not give a fuck if you are their biggest fan or hate their fucking guts. Anal Cunt (gee... ya think?), Kilslug, Eyehategod, Raunchous Brothers, it's a veritable who's who of homophobic, racist, queer-bashin' drunken antichrist hatecore that will clear out a house party faster than mustard gas. It's just too bad GG Allin was dead before this one came out. Enjoy.

I Fuck Cripples

Scarver's Calling

Better-than-average serial-killer hatecore from Akron, Ohio. But who are we kidding here, the only reason anyone's ever heard of Scarver's Calling is the fact they made it onto a 1999 split 7" with Japanese sludge gods Corrupted. Take the two guitarists and bassist from obscure Cleveland grinders Apartment 213, add a few vocalists and the drummer from Sloth and there ya go: new band. Surprisingly the songs were actually written during the Apartment 213 time period and "Mangler" actually appears on a 213 split 7". The music is pretty solid although the crusty Macabre-ish high/low vocal pairing can get a bit grating. The deep vocalist sounds exactly like the guy from Fornicator and the high one sounds like the dude from Macabre's "Embalmer" (off their Gloom album). The songs have a particularly mean fucking vibe - especially the "Missing Child" one - it just goes on forever. Perfect for all you brooding sociopaths out there. I also included the Corrupted track, a nice change of pace in the fact that it only runs 5 minutes (although I expect the original recording went on a lot longer - there's a weird out-of-place fade at the end); typical pounding sludge from seasoned verterans of the genre.

Driven To Download

Lowest Common Denominator

Yep, with a name like Cumchrist, I just had to get it. Call me a sucker. The one and only release (hence the title I guess) from these Chicago blasphemers is a respectable goulash of brutal death and grindcore. Obvious influences by Slayer, Cannibal Corpse and 40 More Reasons To Hate Us-era Anal Cunt, Cumplete is light years better than the dreck I expected when I first spun the CD. Of course this is absolutely nothing you haven't heard before (including the tired movie samples) but then again this was released in 2002 so I guess I ought to cut 'em some slack. The song titles are straight out of Seth Putnam's reject playbook and for something so clearly a one-shot joke it's surprising how much skill and effort went into it all. Some of the songs rumbled my stereo speakers in a way they haven't been fucked with in a while. The Obituary-esque "God Owes Me Money" and the wonderfully-titled "Crucifixion Must Hurt Like A Bitch" are my favorites. The sound quality varies throughout the album which makes me think this was a sort of demo/sessions compilation but who knows. Don't expect more than a tongue firmly planted in cheek from this LP - it's all over in 23 minutes anyway so what the fuck.

Phlegm Phlagm

Anal Rhinoceros?!?!

2005 saw the emergence of the immediately catchy "bulldozer fuckin' grindcore scum band" Anal Nosorog from Moscow. Lo-fi and stupid but oddly addictive with their proto-brutal death metal techno-ish "reeee"s for vocals, the band's first two ep's instantly made a stir around most of the cheapo Eastern European mp3 sites at the time. There's nothing particularly groundbreaking (or talented) on either Fat Putrudity or Beautiful People but AxNx does what they do surprisingly well and have kept with it long enough to carve their own niche in grind history. A solid full-length entitled Condom Of Hate was released in 2007 and the group actually had Anal Cunt frontman and 'Genocide fave Seth Putnam visit the former Soviet capital as guest vocalist for a string of live shows. AxNx picked up a surprisingly good-looking female vocalist soon after and ventured into Burzum-ish pro-white Nordish territory (with a heavy dose of national socialism) for their swansong(?) album, 2009's Gazavat. They've been silent ever since and personally I prefer the "Vagina Says" days so here ya go. Enjoy.

Fat                                                            Beautiful

Mean Murderous Metal

 

Have you ever seen I Spit On Your Grave? Great flick, but seriously, when you're done fast-forwarding through it you gotta admit there is absolutely nothing redeeming about it. No humor (not even black humor), no real "message", and even the "hick rapists get it in the end" plot line leaves you smacking with a somewhat bad taste in your mouth. You sort of feel filthy just for watching it. Same with Fornicator's self-titled LP, one of the more obscure hatecore bands off of legendary black-metal label Moribund Records. Kinda sounding like the gay sons of the Raunchous Brothers, ANTiSEEN or Cocknoose, they have the southern metal twang to them amid the obligatory horror movie/CNN samples. But what the hell, ya gotta love any band pulling out a GG Allin cover!

Rape Me

3-Input Woman

Oh man, where to begin when trying to describe Pennsylvania's 3-Input Woman when it's hard to find anything acknowledging their very existence across the internet? From what little info is out there, it appears they were Jesse Kling (guitar), Tim Kratz (vocals/drums), and either Lou Ceccoli or Glenn Sykes (ex-General Surgery, Regurgitate) on bass. Or maybe both, who knows. What I do remember is downloading a bunch of mp3's in all their 24 kbps glory from some "band site" back in 2001. Roughly rehearsed, roughly recorded and generally rough to listen to (turn down that treble guys, I mean c'mon!!!), the tracks are pure gold. Raw and pounding with a groovy "gestapo stomp" to boot, with song titles in the humorous "let's-just-piss-off-everyone" style Anal Cunt made popular a few years earlier. Supposedly a bunch of the band went on to create the Pennsylvania Connection, equally offensive (and obscure) scumrock purveyors. If they sound anything like this, they are definitely on my want list. But for now, check out these (demo?) tracks and bask in their hateful, heretical, hilarious greatness, still as ear-piercing as they were a decade ago.

Satan's Potluck