Probably the funniest thing I have ever seen....

Richmond, VA's daybyday are, without a doubt, the once-murder-capital-of-the-country's greatest export. Hilarious guys in the vein of a smarter, funnier Jackass crew (or more offensive, vulgar, funnier MAD TV crew) who gained a bunch of media attention a few years ago when they stumped the moronic state employees at the Virginia DMV and got multiple driver's licenses with the most obviously idiotic photos ever (you gotta see their flick Teenagers From Uranus in which they document the whole shebang). I saw this clip at some hardcore show a few years ago which opened with some weird amateur wrestling and this (it was the precursor to the wrestling). Funniest shit EVER, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. I was also on the second or third date with my present wife, I'm sure she looks back on that day and wishes she trusted her instincts and ran......

Freestylin' Dorks

Whenever a certain group of my friends of mine get together (and after about 100 beers), the freestyle dis-a-thon begins. There's a couple of tracks we hold sacred for these events, some that come to mind are X-Ecutioners "Premier's X-Ecution" from Built From Scratch and "Simon Says" from Pharoahe Monch's Internal Affairs. One of the more fun tracks is from the 2002 flick The Transporter. Not a band (albeit mindless) way to waste 90 minutes, the best part is definitely when Jason Statham destroys a house of mobsters in time to a phat cut-up scratch track. I feel sorry for the folks who bought the U.S. version of the soundtrack (music inspired by, blah... blah) hoping to get their hands on that particular tune because it wasn't on it - you had to find the French release for the actual audio used in the movie. D.J. Pone And Drixxxe's "Fighting Man" is that awesome tune, perfect for kicking in doors at some gangster's mansion or telling your friends that you think their wife is sick and they got a small dick. Prick.

Freestyle Biiiiitch!

Sorry For The Delays...

Mindless house bullshit abounds again. We're one the market (finally) but still a long way to go until a contract comes down. Now it's just cleaning and maintaining..... ugh. Hopefully we'll net a couple of suckers soon.... ha!

InFuckingWhat?

Dude, I don't know what to say about this nonsense. Is it a demo, an album, or just a bunch of retards trying to play instruments they just bought? The little info I can find on this band calls InFuckingCunt a demo and boy that's giving the band a lot of credit (and forgiveness). In Cunt is a "brutal death metal" (yeah... right) band from Vila Franca de Xira (Portugal) and this is their gift to the world. Amazingly, the last track is recorded live, wow. I would have loved to see the six confused Portuguese watching this mess unfold on stage. Enjoy these eleven minutes of vapidity.

Merda Terrível

Filling Oneself With Worms

I opened a can of worms with my previous post (ha), I haven't stopped listening to Corrupted since. The first album I ever got of theirs was 1999's incredible Llenandose de Gusanos. It takes a bit of patience to immerse oneself, but hopefully it emerges as a truly one-of-a-kind experience. But my words don't do it justice, check out NausikaDalazBlindaz's thorough review:

"Never ones to court mainstream interest and popularity, Corrupted put out this double CD set totaling about 120 minutes of music many years ago - with one disc in the set containing one track of 73 minutes of quiet drone! Hevi and his men sure like to give value for money and listening time. This album is a call to listeners to be more aware of the state of world we live in where greed and blind obedience to tyrannical leaders and politicians count for more than honesty, conscience and wise stewardship of the Earth's resources.

Going against number order, I'll start on the one-track Disc 2 first, this is the one with "VIII - El Mundo", a long quiet drone on guitar that for much of its length has long tones that vary by a note or two. Around the 20th minute mark, there's a change in key and the track goes up the musical scale so there is a steady evolution throughout this piece. A dreamy mood occasionally goes ominous with changes in key and then turns hopeful for a while, then perhaps goes back to being peaceful or to troubled and foreboding. Quite amazing how changes in feeling can be influenced so much by such minimal changes in music! The long steady tones give the track the feel of wide, open spaces with much implied potential for the improvement of the planet's conditions. There is also a softness in the atmosphere and music which adds to the meditative aspect of the track. It's worth listening to this track at least a few times if you have this album even if you consider that nothing exciting happens: the changes in mood and ambiance give backbone to the track and you may actually find it very relaxing.

Disc 1, with "III - Sangre" and "VI - Humanos", at least promises to be very different and shorter, and so it is: it starts with a quiet piano melody that is minimal, repetitive and very stark, and goes on for some time. As the track progresses, Hevi starts to talk in Japanese in the background. The melody develops further but no other instruments appear until the 17th minute when sledgehammer doom guitars and drums slam into range and keep slashing away while Hevi growls and a lone guitar drone quivers over the top. Eventually Corrupted's usual weapons of choice take up the piano motif and continue to develop it more. A choir joins in and piano returns, building the track up and up to a solemn keyboard-dominated climax. The guitars gradually fade away and percussion also bows out leaving the piano to carry on tragically and majestically to the end.

A sorrowful, yet in a way quietly defiant and determined recording that urges us to keep fighting against abuse of humanity and nature and the decay of everything that is good: this is Llenandose de Gusanos. It may not be to everyone's taste and those of short attention spans will wander off to find something more exciting and short-lived but if you're prepared to stick around for Corrupted, you will find understated dignity and other rewards that need no fancy special effects and pyrotechnical displays to dress them up."

Squish

One band down... One to go

I don't know why I didn't post Corrupted's half of the split CD with Noothgrush when I did so for the latter. Probably because I'm lazy and wanted to milk out two posts, who knows. Regardless, Corrupted's two songs perfectly epitomize the reclusive band's dedication to heavy, sluggish sludge. "Inactive" is a twenty-minute epic of doom while "Estar En Visperas De Ultima" is a tight five minutes of pounding grimness. There is little to report about these Japanese sludge gods as they shun the media and rarely play outside California in the U.S. Per the band themselves:

"We've never done an interview and we don't let professional photographers take our picture. This is our policy—more an attitude—that we'd like to keep. Our expression of being Corrupted is in the sound, lyrics and artwork of our records. Of course, we always appreciate the people who buy our records, see us play and support us along with the fanzines, labels, distributors and event planners. We do not reject all media, or bash writers who express themselves through articles or reviews. All are free and it's only through our personal expression of using the media that we exclude interviews."

The band's sound is characterized by slow, down-tuned riffs under deep layers of feedback. The vocals are harsh, guttural grunts, and the music alternates between long instrumental and vocal sections pounding on for what seems almost monotonous. They have been described by Grooveshark as "some of the heaviest, gloomiest doom/sludge around... layering feedback-pulverizing progressions into a distinctly cacophonous rumble." Surprisingly however, they occasionally engage long acoustic sections, spoken-word interludes, and other breaks into their traditionally sludgey style. 2005's El Mundo Frio is a 72-minute dirge containing extensive sections of harp(!). Regardless of the song or the instrument, Corrupted lets their music speak for themselves. It is dark, dirty doom that ranges from ambient minimalism to riff heavy sludge. Their influence is as huge as their sound. Enjoy.

Grrrrrraaaaawwwwwrrrrrgggggg!

Black Sludge

The bass is so heavy on Upsidedown Cross's first album that it defies logic and will put your speakers to the test. Those not familiar with these Boston blasphemers should be prepared for Larry Lifeless's jokey/whiney Satanic poetic rantings over a thick sludgey stew floating through time signatures and grooves like hellish coincidence. Formed out of Kilslug and later disbanding into Angry Hate and Adolf Satan, Upsidedown Cross perfected a mixture of punk, sludge, doom, black metal and psychedelia into a unique debut album. Not to be missed.

Money Phony Take

The Arguable Origin Of Pornogrind

When it comes down to it, is there a more influential album than the Meat Shits' gorecore classic Ecstasy Of Death? Sure there is some competition (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Straight Outta Compton, Tommy, Nevermind, etc.) depending on your fave genre of music, but for grindcore, pornogrind, cybergrind and their noisome ilk, Ecstasy takes the rotten cake hands down. The Meat Shits were far ahead of their time back in the day with their slew of cassette and 7-inch releases throughout the early 90's. Lots of fun movie clips, sleazy X-rated album covers and hilarious, unending lists of song titles made the Modesto brown metal masters a rare bird. But, honestly, when it came down to it the music was really lacking. I know that's the joke in the whole thing but they were really terrible. Simple blast beats of noise recorded on a tape deck interspersed with annoying prank phone calls, porno samples and other assorted nonsense. Ecstasy Of Death changed all that. Founder/singer Robert Deathrage headed out on his own, hired a new bunch of musicians and recorded over the full year of 1993 the tightest goregrind album ever, easily holding up to today's purulent standards. Solid, well-recorded grindcore (with lyrics even!), real songs in between the more traditional sample+blast beat formula and even some freaky instrumental house music hatecore! What an accomplishment. For better or worse (arguably worse), music has never been the same since.

There Is No God

Soundgarden II

I think the only reason I got this CD is because of one name: Rick Rubin. Saw it at Best Buy, figured it had to be good with the American Recordings label splashed all over it. To be honest, it wasn't what I expected (with Rubin it never is) but I was pleasantly surprised. Sounds like Soundgarden if they were a little bit more heavy. Or melodic. Who knows. I guess the band had a bit of a hit in 2003 with "Safe Passage" but that's about all the info I can find. A very listenable album, nothing too original but there's a lot to like. They broke up in 2004.

Check It

No, not that kind of porn

This is actually the first album I ever bought off the Internet. Way back in those hazy days of 1999, surfing on towerrecords.com (I was too computer-retarded back then to realize I could have got the stuff off Napster for free), and searching for anything related to Anal Cunt. Somehow this came up in the search results, to this day I'm still looking for the connection. Regardless, Porn's debut album is incredible. Lo-fi downtuned sludgey fuzz that sounds like it was recorded in a warehouse in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon while everyone is finishing their first 12-pack of the day. Thick, groovy riffs and a cigarette-chewing vocalist make this required listening for anyone who thinks music is getting too polished. Sort of redneck, sort of junkie, sort of homeless, completely alcoholic. The band has changed its name a couple of times from Porn (The Men Of) to now just Men Of Porn and they have released a bunch of other albums (including a collaboration with Merzbow). Although all of their stuff is solid, there's nothing like American Style - I don't know how I ever ended up with it but I can't imagine being without it.

Teabag

Oakland Freestyle

I got this CD one night from a guy I worked with... one of those days (I worked split shift) where I had burned through all of the shit in my car and I was desperate for some new tunes to keep me going until 3 AM. Most of his stuff was rather afro-centric, y'know like the X-Clan, Arrested Development and the Jungle Brothers, who are all fine but I just don't care about them. Then I got to Saafir. Boxcar Sessions is one of those rap albums you'll either love or hate; and if you love it (like me) you'll get frustrated trying to convince people to like it. Saafir started out as a dancer for Digital Underground (!) then did his thing as an actor (he's Caine's cousin Harold who gets jacked in Menace II Society), all the while honing his freestyle skills in Bay Area rap battles. Boxcar Sessions is a ghetto-produced freestyle masterpiece; making the shit up as he goes along Saafir redefines what a hip hop album should sound like. It sounds cheap and boom box at times but that's even more the appeal, a garage-band rapper. He's got a couple thugs in the house who lend their skillz as well which have led some people to claim this is more of a compilation album. Whatever. This is the man known as Saafir's album - the phat beats and huge off-the-cuff rhymes make it an instant classic.

Worship the "D"