Disco-Ortolani

Of course we all love Ruggero Deodato's flicks for the über-violence (and some would argue for their socio-political agendas) but one high point has been his repeated employment of Italian composer Riz Ortolani. Known primarily for his (Grammy-winning and Oscar-nominated) Mondo Cane score as well as the beautifully haunting Cannibal Holocaust soundtrack; Riz is an incredibly affluent composer, with over 215 scores across 50 years in the business. One oft-ignored score is for Deodato's sweetly mean-spirited House On The Edge Of The Park, David Hess's post-Last House vehicle where he plays nearly the same role and terrorizes a group of naïve partying socialites. Regardless, one of the few humorous points in the film is a catchy disco tune entitled "Do It To Me (Once More)" which, as with most 80's Italian horror film scores, sits completely out of place with the rest of the film. It eventually found release on his 1981 Phantom of Love (Fantasma d'Amore) album, an incredibly catchy tune which you'll find yourself humming for days. Go Riz.

For the audiophiles, I could not find a satisfactorily full version of the song (his CDs are out of print and the tracks I could find on the internet are minute-long 128 kbps edits) so I ripped it off of video and removed as much hiss as I could. The file is in AIFF format and I think it sounds pretty good. Enjoy.

Groovy

 
 
Currently watching: Return Of The Killer Tomatoes

Currently listening to: Body Count Body Count

I guess he didn't listen to Van Halen...

Sorta weird when this CD dropped in 1992 - I guess Eazy wasn't one of the 6 or so million people who picked up Van Halen's 5150 in the 80's but he was busy slangin', jackin'  and fuckin' (evidently a LOT) so can ya blame him? This 5(ish) song EP (or what we old-timers back in the day called a "CD maxi-single"), while nowhere as good as Eazy-Duz-It, is probably his best post-N.W.A. work thanks to good production, a (welcome) sense of humor, and some really strong beats. Of course it's ridiculously silly and clearly shows Eazy needed a strong posse of contributors around him to keep the creative forces going but "Neighborhood Sniper" is probably his best song ever and even "Merry Muthaphukkin' Xmas" can raise a dry smile repeatedly. Eazy's lyrics are hit or miss, sometimes I'm not even sure if he knows what he's saying and is just babbling words for rhyme's sake (the sadly tongue-twisting nonsense in "Only If You Want It" being an obvious example). Whatever. This EP's very existence is simply as a rushed-to-the-market retaliation for Dr. Dre's parody of E in his Chronic-era "Dre Day" video. Too bad he couldn't get the (supposedly vast amounts of other) material mixed to complete his final LP (back then known as Temporary Insanity) before he passed on. Now we're just stuck with umpteen awful posthumous albums (a la Jimi Hendrix) thrown together by anyone who has the ego to call themselves a producer.

Merry Muthaphukkin' Christmas

 
Currently watching: Critters

Currently listening to: King Tee Tha Triflin' Album

Like A Postal Clerk I'll Go Berserk...

Probably one of the funniest albums ever, Jimmy Pop Ali and crew leave their uneven 1995 debut Use Your Fingers in the dust with this classic. Merging the boundaries of rap, rock, techno, punk and whatever-the-fuck-else, Bloodhound Gang showcase some of the wittiest rhymes and styles ever to hit the mainstream. From the sweetly pro-suicide "Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)" to the self-depreciating "Why Is Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?" (to be honest, actually every song is self-depreciating in some sense), the album is a riot from the start. Actually, the lamest song on the album isn't even theirs - it's a somewhat weak cover of Run-D.M.C.'s "It's Tricky." They even got Vanilla Ice to rap on "Boom" and he's good! Weirdo "V-Ice" afficionados (like me, sadly) will note that good ol' Rob Winkle turned "Boom" into his own track called "Prozac" on Hard To Swallow (I'm almost depressed admitting to know that...) Anyways, I've ripped the CD at 320 kbps and also included the Geffen-deleted "Yellow Fever" track (ripped from the Republic Records LP) since it's just as funny as the rest of the album and no more offensive. Enjoy. Yeah, so they're anti-PC, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist, scatalogical, sociopathic and absolutely hilarious. What's not to like?

Drink Up

 
Currently watching: The Dark Crystal

Currently listening to: Cannibal Corpse Tomb Of The Mutilated

Let The Alpine Play...

OK, so the album as a whole isn't much more then an adequate Weezer/Slightly Stoopid-flavored production by these Austin gents but none of that matters. What does matter is it contains the finest cover tune in the history of music - the Simon & Garfunkel-esque version of Eazy-E's indepensable "Boyz-N-The-Hood". What a brilliant concept and even better payoff - yeah, I get what Anthrax was doing when they covered "Bring The Noize" back in the day but this blows it away. Even your girlfriend will like it. And while the song alone is a 3-minute laugh, you gotta check out the video - the Izod garb is priceless...

Best. Cover. Ever.

 
Currently watching: V For Vendetta

Currently listening to: Two Live Crew Move Somthin'

One Night Stand Slip-Up

Only took me 8 months to realize this existed... I admit I'm a little behind the times. The masterpiece is the brainchild of a bespeckled genius named DJ Lubel. And getting Scott Baio to cameo is fucking priceless. Check out his website for some more funny shit.

Currently watching: Videodrome

Currently listening to: Da Lench Mob Guerrillas In Tha Mist

Rick The Ruler

What can you say about a rapper who writes a whole song about convincing his girl to take it up the back door? A lot, actually - England's Slick Rick is one of the smoothest rappers to ever cross the pond and definitely holds significantly more street cred than most of his other fellow rappers back in his heyday. While self-grandiosing "gangstas" were spending time at their mansions under house arrest for petty skirmishes, Slick was serving a real jail sentence (5 years for second degree attempted murder charges as well as immigration issues) at the notorious Riker's Island. He joins other such notable rogues as G.G. Allin, Varg Vikernes, Faust, and Sicx (and to a lesser extent 2Pac and Lil' Wayne) who were actually sentenced "real" time for a crime, not the token Vince Neil "slap on the wrist" (30 days and a heavy fine). But, to be honest, Slick doesn't need any more credibility - his rapping sets him apart from all others. The Art Of Storytelling, his first legit (1996) release out of prison is a masterpiece. Nearly every track is gold, Slick's trademark style mixes tight enunciation with his unique British-tinged flow. It's heavy, hard and hip hop at the same time. Sadly, it's also been his last release as he (still) seems to keep running into trouble with the INS...

Check It

Currently watching: Filthy

Currently listening to: 311 Transistor