Monday, November 25, 2013

Prepare Yourself...

Probably the worst album I've ever featured in the 3-year history of this blog (and that's sayin' something), I present to you the Hard Corps and their abortion of a record, Def Before Dishonor. First off, this shit is all my fault. I remember seeing this video on MTV at some ungodly hour during my sophomore year at college and for whatever reason determining it was absolutely essential that I drop 13 bucks for the CD that next morning. I'm sure I was on several controlled substances at the time but still, twenty years later there is absolutely no excuse for my epic musical blunder. So what have we got here? Well, the song that hooked me was the title track: "Hard Corps." A sorry Anthrax-esque rap-rock anthem that seemed original so long ago (think: heavy Urban Dance Squad) with the typical "King Of Rock" riffs behind and chanting chorus - it's so banal I can't believe it was actually produced... by Jam Master Jay no less! I mean look at the clowns on the cover; you have your two token black vocalists (Dirty Bob and the Beast) and with their shitty-haircut white boy band behind them (including a couple dudes named Rev Kev and Machine Gun Kelly... are you fucking kidding?) Regardless, the rest of the album fucking sucks even worse. The sound, music and samples are so amateurish that it's laughable anyone with any status in the music industry had anything to do with this (I'm talking about you JMJ!!!). At times it doesn't even seem like half the band is playing the same song. They absolutely slaughter a cover of "Back In Black" which is so awful if I were AC/DC I'd fucking sue. And they have the gall to end the album with another cover, an amazingly shitty version of "Why Can't We Be Friends." An absolute turd of a song by a band who deserves no friends or fans or royalty checks. Check this one out simply for the experience.

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