Hard Drive Deadbeats: CRUST

Hi Raw Noise. When it comes down to it, sometimes it's not really your fault. My uncle flew A4 bombers for several years in 'Nam. I once asked how he psychologically made it through the long days during which people whose sole job it is to kill you are firing endless SAMs into the air, he simply answered "I told myself when your number's up, your number's up." Yeah, your production is sloppy, music is kinda derivative, and Photoshop cover rather cheesy, but there are hundreds of other crust bands out there who do it way worse. Unfortunately, I happened to click on your folder. Take care.

Pain & Gain

Currently watching: Feast

Currently listening to: Stevie Wonder Innervisions

Hard Drive Deadbeats: BRUTAL DEATH METAL

It's strange, I usually work for at least a day or two on a typical 'Genocide post; neurotically double-checking to make sure my diatribes and anecdotes are as witty as possible. These "deadbeat" entries, on the other hand, are fucking writing themselves! Wow, it's so much easier to just say "this sucks" as opposed to waxing on and on trying to convince the rest of the world how to spend 50 minutes with a personal favorite. Go figure. Anyway, the icing on the putrid cake today are Dick's Ablation and Morbopraxis. While I admittedly am a fan of the somewhat new (or at least newly defined) subgenre of "brutal" death metal, there's only so much pig grunting I can stand. Especially if it is recorded like shit. Dick's Ablation (from their split CD with comparable stinkers Funeral Rape) go through the motions with typical mania but it just seems really empty. Each song blends into another with barely a change in chord or tempo, an incessant "ree-ree-ree" gluing the whole obscene calamity together. For what it's worth, it's barely par. Just so many other bands doing it a lot better. To be perfectly honest, I don't really have that much of a problem with Morbopraxis's two-song effort. For a demo it's passable (the songs fade out in a weird way though) but it's just so positively generic I can't bring myself to continue to acknowledge its existence. Sorry dudes.

Currently watching: Talhotblond

Currently listening to: Dystopia Dystopia

Hard Drive Deadbeats: BLUR

Oh man, did I laugh out loud when Butt Auger's side of their split with the Meat Shits hit the record player. Inane blurcore in the sophomoric style of an even more retarded Anal Massaker, played in front of a confused live audience. The Van Halen parody on the cover is the best thing about this one, the rest is better left unsaid. In short, Crap! is the most apt record title I've seen in a while. Buyer beware.

54 Songs

Currently watching: Der Todesengel

Currently listening to: Arson Anthem Arson Anthem

Hard Drive Deadbeats: BLACK METAL

The overly-zealous Photoshopped cover should have been a clear fist to the face but I had heard some good things about the band and was enticed by the fact the album was based on Marquis de Sade (and I'm a sucker for sluts in PVC garter belts and biohazard masks). Unfortunately this is exactly the type of black metal I am not into - it's so over the top the "evilness" simply comes off silly, blastbeats get old fast, and the cheesy melodic stuff in the background just makes me want to gag. I'm sure there are legions of Belphegor disciples writhing in their corpsepaint as I write this blasphemy but it's just not my cup of black vomit. Enjoy.

Turd

 
Currently watching: Johnny Got His Gun

Currently listening to: Meat Shits Gorenography

Spring Cleaning...

Well, it was bound to happen, my hard drive has finally hit the tipping point with too much fucking music. AIFFs, FLACs, mp3, shit even some wmas in nearly every crevasse of free space on this bitch. Time to start thinning out the herd. Being such a ridiculous music junkie I tend to acquire a lot more then I need - just like my other habit of Miller Lite and vicodins. But in all seriousness it's time to shitcan the bottom of the barrel and start losing the bands that "I'd eventually grow into" or "give a chance" or "save for future posterity." Goodbye fellas. Instead of just deleting the tripe I figured I'd upload it as the recent war on media servers has potentially rendered some of this stuff extinct. Some may argue that's a good thing but I'll let you decide. A word of warning, a lot of this stuff is completely fucking unlistenable - even a drunk forgiving audio nerd like me eventually reaches his taste tolerance. Over the next couple days (weeks?) I'll upload the first batch or so according to genre. Enjoy at your own risk...

 
Currently watching: The Prophecy II

Currently listening to: Jane's Addiction Ritual De Lo Habitual

Miami Mediocrity

It's weird to discover stuff that you thought was absolutely hilarious as a kid is, well, kinda annoying in a childish way when you get older. Case in point, 2 Live Crew's sophomore effort Move Somthin'. After catching the heavily edited "Do Wah Diddy" video on Yo MTV Raps! (ugh, I feel embarassed writing that - can I come across any more whitebread suburbanite???) I instantly shot down to the criminally overpriced corner record store and shelled out way too much for what I thought was the funniest, dirtiest, most insane rap album of all time until I got Eazy-Duz-It a year later and the world was set right again. Flash forward 25 years; I stumbled upon the CD in the dusty "used hip-hop" section at my local punk store and quickly shelled out 4 bucks for it. Wow, what an eye opener! For all the anticipation, I could not believe how amateur it was; at best it resembles a dirty Fat Boys album, at worst a sloppily sampled electro-rock abortion. I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh. I mean it was 1987 and the TR808 ruled the hip hop world but, man, Move Somthin' is really fucking stupid. I can sorta see why my adolescent brain thought it was the shit but not surprised by the time As Nasty As They Wanna Be came out a couple years later I passed. Kind of a one-trick pony, I guess. Still, much props to Luke Skyywalker and the boyz for achieving what they did in the rap world and giving the Miami scene a voice - not to mention bringing worldwide attention to some significant First Amendment issues but that's for another post. Until then, pull out the Walkman and drop the bomb with your badself. Enjoy.

Do-Wah-Diddy

 
Currently watching: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3-D

Currently listening to: See You Next Tuesday Parasite

Afterthought Of A Genius...

It's weird, Soilent Green should be one of those bands that I am totally into. Heavy, fuzz-laden sludge straight out of Eyehategod country. But to be honest, nothing they released ever really grabbed me; sure it was "fine" (a terribly non-binding term that I use to describe my feelings on almost everything) but nothing that was going to get any regular rotation in my skippy-as-a-motherfucker 240SX 5-disc changer. Then came 2001's A Deleted Symphony For The Beaten Down and for whatever reason, the band clicked with me. Tight grooves, well-mixed crusty vocals, and properly restrained production make for a good hour of sludgy grindcore. "Later Days" is definitely the track to kill for on this one although the equally cheery "She Cheated On You Twice" and "Daydreaming The Color Of Blood" are also big faves. Enjoy.

Swallowhole

 
Currently watching: Hesher

Currently listening to: Ice Cube Death Certificate

Gimme Head While I'm Doin' 'Bout 90

Man, ya gotta give props to Oakland mainstay (dare I say legend?) Todd "Too $hort" Shaw. He continues reveling in a career built off of the same rhymes for goddamn nearly 30 years. While the rap music world has restarted and reinvented itself throughout the decades from hardcore East Coast vs. West Coast feuds to motherland Black Power representation to mainstream commercial success (a la Puff Daddy and Jay-Z) and all back again, Too $hort was busy booming at Oak-town clubs rapping about the same old fucking shit. Pimps and bitches. His extensive album catalog has gone from good to great to almost unlistenable, his output in the 2000's has been really hit-or-miss; way too many overly featured local rappers and not enough $hort. In my opinion he hit his peak with 1993's incredible Get In Where You Fit In. Yeah, Life Is... To Short and Short Dog's In The House are admittedly classics as they stand but c'mon, how many really great tunes are on those albums? Two? Get In is a solid 70 minutes of $hort doing what he does best, rhyming shit like "fuck" with "beat up". Maybe he was running out of ideas as both "Playboy $hort" and "Blowjob Betty" are culled from his indie 75 Girls days but who gives a fuck, he rescues them from the swap meet Seville trunk on this bitch. The title track is hilarious, a wide open bitchslap to M.C. Pooh for trying to steal his image, "Gotta Get Some Lovin'" is probably my favorite $hort track of all time - just a cool (and fast!) track where Short Dog isn't afraid to poke fun at his own pimp ass. Awesome shit, enjoy this before it gets fucking taken down.

Gotta Get Some Lovin'

 
Currently watching: Weed

Currently listening to: Wheelchair M.F.'s Gerry Louis Sucks My Ass!

Face Down

C'mon, has there ever been a funnier time in your life than sitting in an orange Nova in a barren highschool parking lot on a cold New Jersey winter morning before 1st period Algebra nursing a 6-pack of Meister Bräu with your pals and someone throws this 40-minute gem in the cassette deck. Enjoy.

Ass Up

 
Currently watching: Baise-Moi

Currently listening to: Cannibal Corpse Tomb Of The Mutilated

Let's Get Wet...

Followers of this blog are no doubt aware of my undying adoration for all that is Ween, so it was a nice surprise to discover the side projects of guitarist extraordinaire Dean Ween actually eclipsing what his namesake band was doing at the time. I speak, of course of the Moistboyz. Whilst the 'boyz have released four listenable albums over the last two decades, like Madden NFL, the even-numbered ones are the keepers. Moistboyz II was recorded during the 12 Golden Country Greats sessions and is almost a Ween album... if the boys were angry coke addicts with political agendas. Drum machine backbone with layers of guitar overdubs, vocalist Guy Heller spits his venom at whatever regime he's pissed at for the moment: anti-smokers, gays, liberals, conservatives, crackers, blacks, you. While the synth drums kinda cheapen things up at times (it would be nice to hear a real band tear some of these songs up) it is still is a great thirty minutes of pissed off hardcore. Flash forward to 2006 and Moistboyz IV which blows Ween's subpar La Cucaracha off the fucking planet. Pulling together a full band (Ween drummer Claude Coleman and bassosaurus Andrew Weiss (Rollins Band) joining the crew) the album is a fucking masterpiece. Heavy as fuck and angry as a bitch, who knows what could ever cheer these guys up but there's enough political, social and psychological angst in this one to make any nihilist cream in his braces. But ignore whatever the fuck I say about anything, soak in the definitive history of the Moistboyz here. Fuck off and enjoy the tunes you pussy fucking faggot. America's dead.

II                                                                               IV

 
Currently watching: Edge Of Darkness

Currently listening to: Ween Quebec