Sunday, May 5, 2013

Jumpin' the shark...

Oh man, how the blog has fallen... No, but seriously, summer is coming and it's time to pretend we're 25 years old and big nü metal fans again, right? Limp Bizkit sure are doing their best to pretend it's still the beginning of the millennium with their 2011 release Gold Cobra. The original five-piece gets back together after almost a decade to create an album that could easily be a bonus disc to their breakthrough opus Significant Other. So, how do the matured Bizkiteers sound? The SAME! There's nothing new on Cobra, actually there's a lot that's terribly old - and sadly it's once-charismatic frontman turned media scapegoat Fred Durst. Regardless of what shit the world gives him, he still has a better life then me or anyone reading this, yet Durst still sounds like he's struggling to find a groove. One song he sounds like Butthouse from the Limbomaniacs (Seriously! Check out "Shark Attack") and on a LOT of others he channels little Drew Simollardes of the sadly defunct (and superior) Boston band Reveille. A lot of Vanilla Ice-ish sounding rap from his Hard To Swallow days. And I don't care what anyone says but during "90.2.10" Fred sounds like fucking Missy E on that annoying-as-fuck "Get Ur Freak On" song. While his lyrics are generally weak (c'mon Fred - still rhyming "gat" with "baseball bat" - Jesus what fucking decade are we in!?!?) you gotta to love a song where the chorus is "Douche Bag - I'mma fuck you up... Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Up". Solid. The second half of the album gets a little thinner... lots more experimental shit which is welcomed but gets kind of... boring. And ignore "Killer In You" - that is probably the worst song I've ever heard in my life. Simply awful awful awful. Moving forward, for those who are wondering how the fuck this disc ended up in my collection, I saw it as a 1¢ used CD on Amazon and could not help click "Add To Cart". Another win for the internet, I guess. I never thought I would ever acknowledge Limp Bizkit's existence after "N 2 Gether Now", still... I'll grudgingly admit I got my money's worth. So, in closing, if you're looking for some inane background music for your backyard Memorial Day party you could do a lot worse then this motherfucker. Shit, half the people will think you're streaming some 90's rock station and the other half will be too drunk to give a fuck. I'll be in the latter. Enjoy.

Currently watching: Red White & Blue
Currently listening to: The Flaming Lips The Soft Bulletin

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