Go BRUINS!!! Fuck Yeah!!!

What better way to celebrate the Boston Bruins amazing victory tonight then by giving props to Rat City's seminal hardcore band Siege. Drop Dead, their only album is a bootlegged 6-song demo tacked onto their only "real" recording: three songs for Pushead's 1985 Cleanse The Bacteria comp LP. Best fucking 14 minutes of hardcore ever - I don't know how drummer Rob Williams does it. While you can probably find the audio everywhere on the net, I added a nice uncompressed bonus video of Siege ripping out 10 minutes of power violence for Public Access TV. Better quality (tho' that's not saying too much) than what you'll find on YouTube. Anyways, I'm about 15 beers deep and tired of typing - fuck the Canucks, Tim Thomas rules and I am out.

Conn Fucking Smythe

 
Currently watching: Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Currently listening to: Public Enemy Fear Of A Black Planet

Good Ol' Detroit Scumfuckin'

One of the nicest guys I've ever dealt with via U.S. mail was fellow GG Allin fan Skeeter Rider - some might remember him as one of the first audience guests to stand up (and give ol' J.C. props!) during GG's infamous appearance on the Jerry Springer Show. Alongside running the definitive GG Allin Mailorder, Skeeter also sang lead vocals for Michigan rockers Vomitose - monikered in honor of the ex-band primitively tattooed on GG's chest. Also featuring Jay from Wheelchair Motherfuckers and Dan and Ted of Soiled Betty, the "new" Vomitose (seemingly still around per their website) planned to record some hand-selected tunes with GG during the summer of 1993 for a retrospective CD. As typical luck would have it, the recording session never came to fruition ("too bad Mark Hejnar picked him up from jail") and GG was dead by the end of August. Per Skeeter, the "tunes were still fresh in our heads so we said 'let's go ahead and record 'em anyway'" which they did New Years Day 1994. What you get are 13 tracks spanning GG's career covered by a band who obviously loved what they were playing. The cassette was remastered and officially pro-dubbed later in 1994 but this is the raw, original version complete with tape hiss and hilariously bad between-song samples. With an exclusive 5-minute interview between Skeeter and GG to finish it all up. What a great record and big thanks Skeeter for all the great merchandise over the years. And I am happy to report that he is still at it - check out his massive webstore here.

In case anyone's interested, the original Vomitose supposedly consisted of Jeff Collins (guitar), Jeff Standford (guitar), Brent Dupont (drums), Matt Lane (bass) and GG (screaming animal) and never got around to really doing anything. Allin claimed they were together for about 10 minutes while Bloody F. Mess recalled GG "beat them up" after a brief stay in his Hated In The Nation #2 zine. Check out the only artwork I've seen actually acknowledging the band (thank you Mr. Mess) here.

You've Been Warned

 
Currently watching: Girl In Gold Boots

Currently listening to: Nine Inch Nails Fixed

R.I.P. Mr. Putnam

Thank you for the laughs....


Currently watching: Scorpion Thunderbolt

Currently listening to: Anal Cunt It Just Gets Worse

Rapin' Your Wallet

One of the lousier posthumous GG Allin bootlegs on the market, 1994's Rapin' The Vault serves up some then-rare stuff which has mostly been re-released more legitimately in years since. First up is 1977's hilarious Malpractice single, 2 cheesy tracks of oversexed poppy bar rock ("Love Tunnel" and "Devil's Triangle" - catch a theme here?) featuring the future scumfuc on drums and brother Merle on bass. Next up is a hilarious radio show outtake (?) from October '86 featuring David Peel and the Lower East Side, Howie Zowie and a couple other folks (Steve Dasinger?, Loose Bruce?) jamming out some riotous acoustic tunes in pure scumfuc fashion. From what I can gather, it was recorded while GG was in NYC gearing up for his infamous Cat Club show that weekend (he mentions having the notorious bar of Ex-Lax) as well as cutting his Hated In The Nation tracks with the New York Superscum. GG comes off sloppy and sleazy, his fresh New Hampshah accent is in full swing as he tries to throw every scatalogical comment in the book at the mic. I guess he was trying to pump himself up - "when my daughtah gets to be ten I'm gonna fuck her" - wow. A few rehearsal tracks with the Texas Nazis before the epic Boozing And Pranks show (Dallas 1985) are next, purists will recognize them from the über rare self-released Sing Along Love Songs tape. Some live tracks from the 1986 "Pete's Basement Bash" Peoria, IL show (which would eventually show up on Insult & Injury Volume 2 - The Bloody Years) follow. Rounding out the cassette is the Always Was, Is And Always Shall Be radio ad most of us first heard on Dirty Love Songs followed by a bunch of GG and the Jabbers live stuff from 1982. While the liner notes say it's culled from shows in New York and Boston it's only half-right; in actuality the songs are ripped from 1982's Tasteless Animal Noise cassette featuring live sets from Club Merrimac (Merrimac, NH), the Living Room (Providence, RI), the Channel (Boston, MA) and the West Haven Dump (West Haven, CT) all strung together into one “complete” show (once again I think this eventually made it out on another Insult & Injury release). If this all sounds tantalizing, let me warn you that the quality is awful. Source material was probably third or fourth-generation tapes (rough in quality to begin with) and the limitations really show. According to the press release, Rapin' The Vault was digitally mastered on a DAT Deck - really? Because I usually spend a lot of money to digitally master something only to showcase it on a bargain basement TDK D60 cassette complete with a xeroxed paper cover (maybe someone from Milkbag Productions can prove me wrong but I won't hold my breath). Don't be fooled, this compilation is the pinnacle of riding the postmortem wave and while there are some laughs here and there I still can't believe I shelled out $8 for it.

Manchester Madman

 
Currently watching: Filthy Rich & Catflap

Currently listening to: Wack Ass Egyptians Wack Ass Egyptians

Tasteless Tunes

Figured I'd finally get off my ass and upload a few more "hits" from Boston scumlords Bulge. First off is their 1993 7" L.O.A.D. (Legions Of Anal Doom, 'natch). Sadly the band's swan song, the slab showcases three sloppy tracks of tardcore including a re-recorded "Ballad Of Ron Jeremy" that true fans will note appeared a few years earlier on the amazing Ax/ction Records Apocalyptic Convulsions comp LP. Turn down the treble and enjoy - I was going to try my hand at mastering it somewhat but couldn't really make it sound any better (or worse) then it was, which is saying a lot. Up next is their (also 1993) Tasteless retrospective cassette. Since the tape features their 1991 LP Penis Rising which is already available here as well as the aforementioned L.O.A.D. 7", I only ripped the "one bonus song," a cheerful 20-second ditty titled "AIDS Hog" which is less of a song then sample and has its origins on on Slap-A-Ham's 1991 compilation Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh! - The Record. Anyways, hopefully it's the smell of a Bruins' victory in the air tonight that got me going on the Beantown tip but enjoy the sleaze that only Anal Violator and Stinky Ass-Finger can bring ya.

Can't Find A Hole                                                  Gotta Fuck A Roll

 
Currently watching: The Crazies

Currently listening to: Amorak Amorak

Dutch Shade Of Soul

When I wrote up the Limbomaniacs blurb a couple weeks ago I couldn't help thinking "whatever happened to Brussels' Urban Dance Squad?" Of course we all remember them from their quasi-hit "Deeper Shade Of Soul" back in the early 90's but was that it?? Evidently not, I was one of the few who got their next album, Life 'N' Perspectives Of A Genuine Crossover which was actually more memorable for its create-your-own sticker art cover then the music. Yeah, it was fun and they had a bit of a hit with "Crossover" but better bands were beginning to hijack their already stolen style and run away with it (hellooooo 2 Skinnee J's). Anyways, here's a promo CD of a couple tracks from the aforementioned album that completists may be interested in - enjoy.

Perspect This

 
Currently watching: Death Scenes 2

Currently listening to: Oruga Oruga

Gettin' Bent Every Night Is The Thing We Do...

Huge debut album from these Orange County, CA rappers, this CD didn't leave my car stereo for months after I got it. One of those albums that take you right back to a time in your life - in my case it was summer '99. I had finally landed myself a good job, had cash, car, awesome apartment across the street from a bar, and more coke and weed then I knew what to do with. I'm not going to say it was the most productive three months of my life and to be honest it all came crashing down that fall (only to be given a shot a adrenaline at the millennium, thank you New Orleans) but fuck it, it was a whirlwind of drugs, booze and the occasional slut who found my stumbling drunk ass attractive. Royal Highness is the perfect party album, enough bounce for your umpteenth backyard BBQ alongside some great punkish Humble Gods-assisted anthems. I tried to keep up with the 'Kings for a couple albums after this one but they were never the same after Saint Dog left - without a doubt this is the must-have entry in their inconsistent discography.

What's Your Trip?

 
Currently watching: Heartbreak Ridge

Currently listening to: Corrupted El Mundo Frio

Silly Satan

Oh man, I remember being so excited when I found this record at Princeton Record Exchange back in the 80's. I had heard of the band from something on TV, whether it was Geraldo or A Current Affair or some other generic "Satanic Bands On The Rampage" scare-show I'll never remember; whatever it was, Coven was being branded among its peers of Venom and Slayer as the absolute "worst of the worst." Seeing how I had never heard of the band (all the while thinking I was really down with what was going on in the underground metal world) my curiosity was definitely piqued. Sheesh, what a letdown! All the ranting I made about Northwinds' equally awful debut apply here - cheesy post-glam thrash with some of the lousiest Overkill-esque vocals I've ever heard. "6669", really? How more Beavis and Butthead can you get? And how many times can a band say "Satan" on a record - yo, we get it dudes. I'm sure there are some metal fans out there that would defend ol' Coven by pointing out the similarities to devil-music institutions Bathory and Venom - fine. All I can say is thank you Norway for reinventing black metal - if Blessed Is The Black is any indication of where it was going than Satan help us all. "Worst of the worst?" What a fucking laugh.

Hell Awaits

Currently watching: The Sasquatch Gang

Currently listening to: Wounds Of Christ Despising The Christian Race

Prepare To Lower Your Expectations...

I don't know why I feel like getting on this rant again, it's my typical porngrind bitching about delicious song titles/band names that trick you into 20 seconds of a crappy VHS horror-movie sample followed by an over-amplified minute of under-produced drum machine "grind" punctuated by over-processed gurgles and oinks. So with that being said, what's left to add about Honker Heaven? As far as samplers go (hell it was only $5) it's not too bad; evidently showcasing some of the better bands in the genre which ain't saying much but is at least a start. Obese's two tracks are nicely slamming, Tumour seem pretty competent as cybergrind legends, Methadone Abortion Clinic appear well-produced (just lose the fucking drum machine!) and good ol' Anal Penetration rocks out pretty well for a one-man show. I even kinda dug the Uterus tracks. As for the other "bands," Necrofuckinglicious is a rather worthless entrant and Pregnant Fetus' unoriginal tunes just go on waaaay too long (at over two minutes you're asking a LOT guys). MDK and Carnival Of Carnage both emerge as dull, low-rent filler while Succulent Torso and Mucopurulence Excretor are exactly the bands I whined about earlier; completely indistinguishable from nearly everything else in the genre. Yet again I ask myself what else was I supposed to anticipate on a sampler from Fart Out The Cum Productions? I guess not much - just hoping someone will someday put together some porno-cyber-gore-whatever-grind that really lives up to the name.

Scrape Scrape Scrape

 
Currently watching: Pandorum

Currently listening to: Too Legit For The Pit: Hardcore Takes The Rap

Back For Some Air...

Wow... it's been like two months since my last post and nothing to show for it. Yard still looks rough and my laundry list of home improvement projects hasn't even had the dust blown off it. Oh well - still got all summer to catch up I guess. Anyways, regardless of my failures as a suburban homeowner, I've found myself revisiting this great CD during my hours of (apparently useless) lawn mowing and mulching. Flashback 1992: Driving home through the night to New England from spring break in Fort Lauderdale (a fun 16 hours of munching mini-thins and Diet Pepsis), my college pals and I ended up on some oldie station which had us deliriously singing along to some fun tunes including Mungo Jerry's "In The Summertime" and Jerry Reed's "Amos Moses". Once back at school my roommate was obsessed with finding "that 'Summertime' song" on a single so we blindly hit some of the downtown record holes. Man, how was shit accomplished without the internet back then? We didn't know the artist, the song's real name or even remember how it really went (give us a break, there was a week's worth of alcohol poisoning eating away at our short term memories) yet through a stroke of luck we found some old store owner who knew exactly what we were talking about and presented this CD. Interestingly, we didn't just find Mungo Jerry's one-hit wonder on the album, we found the entire setlist of the radio show we heard. I guess enthusiasm for the job waned around 3AM on that South Carolina oldie station and the DJ simply pressed play on the CD and ran (or slept). The songs are still great 20 years later (and shit, they were already 20 years old back then) and get me chuckling nearly every time I hear 'em, partially from the absolute schlock of it all but there's also a bit of nostalgia. R. Dean Taylor's "Indiana Wants Me," Jerry Reed's aforementioned "Amos Moses" and, yes, even Partridge Family's "I Think I Love You" are my faves - a perfect snapshot of 70's kitsch. And if you can take another boring anecdote, this CD actually kept an old girlfriend and I together through the throes of our 54th or so breakup - Bobby Sherman's über cheesy "Julie, Do Ya Love Me" happened to come on random play right as we were slamming doors to go our own way... "Honey you cried the day I left you, even though we knew I couldn't stay" boomed in the background and yes, our love saw the light. We finally broke up two years later, effectively ending one of the worst (and longest) relationships in my life, but that's beside the point.

C'mon Get Happy

 
Currently watching: Barton Fink

Currently listening to: Ween Chocolate And Cheese