Jingle Balls

Ah, 1999, what an epic year for nü metal and my drug habits. Korn, riding high on their muti-platinum Life Is Peachy released this little single right in time for the holiday season. A couple remixes and live tracks as well as a unreleased gem full of all the local Bakersfield holiday spirit you can stand. If you (still) love Korn - it will absolutely raise a dry smile. If you hate Korn and everything they contributed to/took from heavy music it will absolutely ruin your holiday season and justify every reason you hate them. And then you can go check out their Christmas Song and kill yourself. Cheers!

P.S. If anyone out there gives a shit, I apologize about the lack of posts lately; been tied up since the holiday rollercoaster started back in November. Don't worry, I plan to be back in full swing come 2014!!!

Happy Nü Year

Boston OG's

Ten wonderful minutes of old-school hardcore from way back in 1983, the debut 7" from New England stalwarts Psycho sounds a lot more like the poppy punk Ramones then the noisy grindish hardcore they'd eventually degrade to. Perennial vocalist/guitarist Johnny X gives his gravelly voice a rest on this one so one-shot crooner Mick Keddy can fulfill the vocal duties - a rather pleasant change of pace. Straight, no-bones punk from a working-man's band who has consistently been doing it for the past 30 years. Fucking amazing.

Lights, Camera, Ax/ction

Most Of The Bands I Like Either Broke Up Or Now Suck

Way back in 2001 when they weren't hung up on doing annoying-as-fuck experimental noise nonsense, Ohio sludge outfit Sloth released their first full length LP parodying every genre in the industry. Every song on Division 1 State Champs is a gem and everyone who doesn't get the joke can fuck off. The opener "Paralyse" is a tough favorite to beat, an overwhelming sludgeasaurus of a track and it's the fifteen-year-old in me who loves "Story Of My Boobs" and "Ball Bra". There's a grunge song, nü metal song, Creed song (hilarious) and a few Smashing Pumpkin-esqe jabs. "Stoner Rock Is Dumb" is fucking right on point and almost makes me ashamed to have Orange Goblin in my CD collection. The killer thing about Division 1 is the fact that that Sloth is actually turning out some great music while intentionally making fun of everyone else's shit. Shame they gave up on their solid schtick for less interesting stuff. Oh well.

Hey Everybody This Is Not Rock 'N' Roll

απερίγραπτος

Ridiculously technical brutal death metal from this amazingly talented Grecian three-piece. Insanely fast and wicked tight, The Coming Of The Ineffable reeks of an almost mechanical stench - so utterly perfect in execution that I wouldn't be surprised if it was all clandestinely created digitally by some GarageBand super geek. The vocals are mixed a tad too high but other than that there's little negative - the super sick breakdown at the end of "Enslaved In Somnium" is one of the best things I've heard in a while. Also dig the Giger-esque album cover. Happy Turkey Day.

Curb Free Thought

Ram It Up

Unable to accept the painfully obvious trends of the music industry, MegaForce Records released a poorly-timed comp album in 1991 showcasing a few tired thrash metallers from the recently departed decade. I grabbed this CD for the M.O.D. rarity "If The Shoe Fits" - I've read (and hoped) it's from the U.S.A. For M.O.D. days but not so sure after hearing it - seems a little Gross Misconduct-y to me. Oh well, can't have everything, no? S.O.D. (yay!) and Venom contribute solid songs and I actually found myself digging the track by the idiotically-named T.T. Quick. Obscure NJ metallers The Beast show up with two songs it's always nice to hear Blitzkrieg's eponymous anthem. Rounding the LP out are some throwaway tracks by Anthrax, Overkill (ugh... I always fucking hated them), Testament and Mercyful Fate. Be forewarned - there is an absolutely awful awful rap-metal track (a la an even shittier "I'm The Man") by some fuckwad calling himself the "Lone Rager" (probably Johnny Z) which is why the [skip] button was invented. Truly terrible.

Thrash Memories

Blood Clot

Manic fucking black grindcore from Italy - sounding like the guy from Converge screaming over the Anaal Nathrakh or some similar sounding apocalyptic-esque band. Blisteringly fast as fuck with a few breakdowns here and to catch your breath. Most of the tracks hover around the two-minute mark and suffer somewhat from sounding alike but there are a couple longer, feedback-laden, almost experimental-ish epics in there to keep the record fresh. Really amazing album to grind your teeth to. Enjoy.

Antitalian

Prepare Yourself...

Probably the worst album I've ever featured in the 3-year history of this blog (and that's sayin' something), I present to you the Hard Corps and their abortion of a record, Def Before Dishonor. First off, this shit is all my fault. I remember seeing this video on MTV at some ungodly hour during my sophomore year at college and for whatever reason determining it was absolutely essential that I drop 13 bucks for the CD that next morning. I'm sure I was on several controlled substances at the time but still, twenty years later there is absolutely no excuse for my epic musical blunder. So what have we got here? Well, the song that hooked me was the title track: "Hard Corps." A sorry Anthrax-esque rap-rock anthem that seemed original so long ago (think: heavy Urban Dance Squad) with the typical "King Of Rock" riffs behind and chanting chorus - it's so banal I can't believe it was actually produced... by Jam Master Jay no less! I mean look at the clowns on the cover; you have your two token black vocalists (Dirty Bob and the Beast) and with their shitty-haircut white boy band behind them (including a couple dudes named Rev Kev and Machine Gun Kelly... are you fucking kidding?) Regardless, the rest of the album fucking sucks even worse. The sound, music and samples are so amateurish that it's laughable anyone with any status in the music industry had anything to do with this (I'm talking about you JMJ!!!). At times it doesn't even seem like half the band is playing the same song. They absolutely slaughter a cover of "Back In Black" which is so awful if I were AC/DC I'd fucking sue. And they have the gall to end the album with another cover, an amazingly shitty version of "Why Can't We Be Friends." An absolute turd of a song by a band who deserves no friends or fans or royalty checks. Check this one out simply for the experience.

Worst. Album. Ever.

34-31

Good news is Pats won. Bad news is that fucking game took 5 years off of my life. Regardless, nice to see the boys take it to Peyton once again. Sucks we'll lose to them in the playoffs but I'll savor the sweetness for now.

Snotcore

Seminal release by Beantown hardcore mainstays The Freeze. Thumbing his nose at pretty much every facet of mainstream America, the snide, ultra-condescending vocals of Clif Hanger are like a fucking cheese grater on your balls. The music is fast, high-treble Boston hardcore in the vein of Gang Green and their ilk. "Go Team Go" is my favorite - a hilarious jab against the ruling jock society that I'm sure were the antagonists of Hanger's teenage memories. "Duh Family" is a close second - a typical Freeze anthem championing the anti-Reagan family - the house is a ghetto in a fine neighborhood... they all should be shot... Yes they should!  Enjoy.

Go Pats Go

Two Sides

Amazing debut which rewrote the book on melodic NYC HxCx (and clearly influenced the eventual metalcore onslaught to come). Fast, bitter and pissy with enough breakdowns to keep any moshpit happy, there's little not to like on this one. The Biscuits have reformed for shows here and there over the years but this remains their only studio full-length. Enjoy.

Can't You Take A Fucking Joke

Let's Eat!

Y'know for someone living here for over a decade I was pretty shocked to discover how significant a sludge scene good ol' Richmond, VA had. Bands like Cough, Captives and Gritter are turning their Eyehategod worship into some really fucking good music. In 2007 the three-piece Food finally got around to recording material they had written four years earlier - their one and only eponymous LP is a meaty slab of southern-tinged granite-rock stoner sludge with enough fuzz box and distortion to clear out the stragglers at your next house party. There's not a whole lot of info out there on the band - according to one press release "Like Haley's Comet, or a rotation of the earth, Food is only in full view once in a long while" but it seems like they're still around. Hopefully we'll hear from them again soon...

RVAgina

Sour Candy

Sophomore major-label release by nerdcore legends 2 Skinnee J's had everything wrong going for it. Shelved by its record company (Capricorn) who initially promoted it then pulled the plug over some sour grapes regarding Woodstock '99. Sold to another uninterested record company (Volcano) as part of Capricorn's bankruptcy proceedings two years later. Volumizer eventually made it onto CD racks without the benefit of advertisement or reviews as trade magazines claimed to have reviewed the initial Capricorn release and would not listen to the album twice. Needless to say, this gem was quickly forgotten and destined for discount rack purgatory. Yet, as often happens with albums like this, there is a lot to like on Volumizer. "Horns Of Destruction" is a great opener - perfect for your next bumpin 'house party and "Grown Up" is a pretty rockin' would-be pop hit that in instantly catchy. "Big Beat Evangelists" showcases the darker hip-hop sound of the band with a cool-ass groove but it's the bittersweet "Lemon Drop" that stands out as my favorite. Every guy has that one girlfriend who treated you like shit while you foolishly took it- this is the pefect homage to you fucking bitches out there. The song hits that shit on the nail - awesome stuff. Unfortunately there are some misses and some of the more "ballad-y" stuff seems a little out of place. There aren't quite as many sci-fi Star Wars references on this one either but you can't have everything I guess. Enjoy.

Pass The Buck

When you see it coming, the shit runs down your leg...

Man, timing really is everything. What better era of my life to enjoy this ridiculously juvenile, sophomoric, thrash metal epitome of bad taste then during my sophomore year in highschool. For the uninitiated, U.S.A. For M.O.D. is basically Speak English Or Die Part II, an off-color rant against most everything from the era before the P.C. police started slapping "Explicit Content" stickers on every fucking album under the sun. Starring ex-S.O.D. frontman Billy Milano, the album doesn't sway much from the tone of his previous S.O.D. effort - merely a new cast of characters playing the backup roles. Guitarist Tim McMurtrie with his applaudable Misfits-esque hairdo (and "No Mercy" hat - how fucking on point was that back in '87?) is more than adequate and there's definitely some shit on the album I've never been able to decipher how he plays. Drummer Keith Davis and bassist Ken Ballone are also up to challenge and pair up as a solid rhythm section. What hurts this album all these years later is the... I dunno... goofiness of it all. Of course that's what makes it endearing in a way but another song about Freddy Krueger? Really? And the tired anti-immigrant tirades like "Import Society" come off just cartoonishly ignorant, even when you know they've got their tongues planted firmly in cheek. On the plus side though, there are some real screamers on this one - "Spandex Enormity" is a perrenial fave of mine to this day as is "Parents" (featuring Scott Ian as Billy's screaming bitch of a mother). And how can you not crack a dry smile at "A.I.D.S." you unfeeling cynical bastard (even Milano busts a chuckle singing the chorus). "Hate Tank" is a fucking great way to wrap this album up, a pounding example of perfect crossover thrash. Sadly, M.O.D. would change both band members and styles over the following years (including the nearly unlistenable Surfin' M.O.D. a short year later) and could never reproduce the greatness of their debut. Too bad.

Her Ass Alone Would Be A Feast...

Kill All Redneck Pricks

Swansong album (brilliantly titled at that) from underrated and way-ahead-of-their time Washington state sludgers Karp. Fusing a west coast blend of sludge, grunge and post-hardcore with a smarmy sense of humor, the band evokes Melvins, Sloth, Tad and any other of the late-90's genre-bending bands trying to carve their own niche into heavy music. "D+D Fantasy" is the highlight for me but the whole album rules, a tight 30 minutes of pounding riffs to smash your skull. Highly recommended.

Tumwater

Cacodemonia

Pretty solid EP from obscure (and defunct) Michigan four-piece The Virally Enthroned. Fast as fuck technical brutal death metal recorded with a drum machine. The album doesn't really get going until the third track "Necrotic Desecration" - I'm fucking digging the brutal breakdown riff in the middle while the two vocalists trade off crust-style. Enough to satisfy your late afternoon metal-fix. Enjoy.

Catharsis

This Ain't Fenway...

I know there are a lot of purists out there who will go to their grave defending the theory that Suicide Silence invented deathcore. While the band was definitely around during the genre's formative years, I still gotta give credit to Carnifex for refining the sound into what it is known for today (and bringing it to the masses), for better or for worse. In a nutshell, Carnifex just sound better - there's nothing Suicide Silence has ever released that has warranted more than a passing acknowledgement save the above. In 2008 the group released this limited 7" solely notable for its solid cover of Deftones' "9 Words". There's also a cut from their debut LP and a live track but I don't think I've ever bothered to listen to either.

No Pity

By Request...

Reasonably good recording of GG's rehearsal with the Texas Nazis before his infamous "Boozing And Pranks" show. The band chugs through the whole Twilight Room set as well as the seldom-heard "God Of Fire In Hell" (seldom enough that GG completely forgets the words). His rehearsal of "Eat My Diarreah" was available later on the Dirty Love Songs LP and is probably my favorite version of that song. And that's saying something.

1/14/15 update: I just discovered a pretty good (192 kbps) rip of GG's Rapist cassette which blows away the previously upped version I had. Here are both... you be the judge. 

Sing Along Love Songs                                                     Rapist

Tail-Devouring Snake

Heard from Asilo drummer Sebastían regarding his new side project Uroboros. Tight sludge metal from Argentina, much more structured then the dirgy chaos of his other band; the companion albums Herejía & Exilio and Misantropía & Blasfemia were released over the last few weeks and showcase a cool blackened style of sludge. Herejía & Exilio is definitely the more experimental record of the two (the epic "Holocausto" recalls Corrupted's more ambient material) while "El Último de Nosotros" on Misantropía & Blasfemia is my favorite track - a slamming blast of groove metal to destroy. Check 'em here and enjoy.

I                                                                             II

For Everybody

Oh man, I was such a fucking dork back in '85! I can vividly remember my retarded anticipation for the "Slammies" on MTV. For the unenlightened, it was a cheesy self-aggrandizing awards show in which the WWF's finest bestowed trophies upon themselves in between painfully choreographed segments of hilarity and mayhem. MTV and WWF? How did that dubious relationship come about you ask? We can all thank Cyndi Lauper featuring Captain Lou Albano in her über-popular "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Goonies" videos (among others) for bringing the existence of the WWF to MTV execs and... man, this book just writes itself! Coinciding with the one-shot primetime special was the release of The Wrestling Album, featuring mostly cover tunes sung by the then-stars of the wrestling world, helmed by ex-McCoy Rick Derringer who must have just been slumming for coke money. But who am I to judge, I instantly bought the cassette (in true 80's style packaged in a LP-sized cardboard sleeve) and y'know what? 25+ years later it's still laughably listenable. "Mean" Gene Okerlund, Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura provide some pretty humorous commentary to open the record and segue from song to song - it's the typical antagonistic banter that became standard play-by-play on Saturday afternoon's wrestling shows. The music begins with the ensemble "Land Of 1,000 Dances?!!?" - a lot funnier to listen to if you've seen the video - Roddy Piper ends up trashing the set at the end amidst other chaos. Junk Yard Dog's "Grab Them Cakes" (showcasing aged disco queen Vicki Sue Robinson on back up vocals) reeks so strongly of 80's cheese it's hard to get out of your head. Derringer solos on "Real American" which according to the commentary is an homage to the forgettable tag-team duo U.S. Express. It is just as tacky as any number of the zillion pro-USA country music anthems out there today but I'll give Derringer historical credit and just assume he wrote it while watching the montage scene Rocky IV. Jimmy "The Mouth Of The South" Hart contributes a pretty funny track regarding his girlfriend's affinity for Rick Springfield - one of the few artists on the album who actually seems like he may have some inkling of musical talent. Captain Lou's "History Of Music" is a low point on the album, a typical ranting effort by the bloated manager which is as silly as it is stupid. Flipping over to side B, the "WWF All Star" studio musicians present us with the instrumental "Hulk Hogan's Theme" (dorks younger then me will recognize this as the theme to the surely-agonizing Saturday morning Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling cartoon) followed by the LP's best track, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's "For Everybody." A relatively rowdy (ha!) G-rated cover of Mike Angelo & The Idols' explicit 1984 single "The World May Not Like Me", Piper stutters and spits his way through the lyrics with the same aplomb that made him one of the smarter stars in wrestling (and fucking awesome in They Live but I digress). Gene Okerlund grooves through "Tutti Frutti" with a panache that brings to mind Val Kilmer in Top Secret! and token hick wrestler Hillbilly Jim drawls through (surprise!) "Don't Go Messin' With A Country Boy." For what it's worth his version is somewhat listenable aside from the fact that I absolutely detest country music. Wrapping it all up is perrennial 80's bad guy Nikolai Volkoff caterwauling "Cara Mia" which degrades into a shoddy version of the Soviet National Anthem. Ventura, McMahon and Okerlund throw him out and declare the entire recording a failure at which point Ventura begs the others two to duet with him. As they flee we are left with the eventual governor of Minnesota whining "It's my turn to sing!!!" You couldn't make this shit up folks. Enjoy.

Grab 'Em

Suicide Forest

Hailing from the primitive woodland known as Salem, Oregon, münn plays an oppresively slow dirge/drone/sludge/doom stew a la Otesanek and Khanate (not surprisingly most of the band is comprised of members from similar-genred labelmates Ancestørtøøth). Recorded February 27, 2008, the hour-long rehearsal set opens with the epic 45-minute "Selbstmordwald (Part I)" - a seemingly endless journey through pain and suffering which rarely gets boring (and even speeds up for a few seconds here and there). "In Defeat" follows, beginning as a wicked sludgy groove that slowly deconstructs into a slower, feedback/effect-screaming threnody. "Drone" closes the session, a 10-minute wall of amplified noise. Really powerful stuff, as obscure as it is heavy. Sadly, with the suicide of bassist Joris Brinkerhoff in 2009 the band ceased to be. R.I.P.

In Defeat

Black Slabs

Hailing from Leamington Spa, UK (my dad's hometown - no shit) and skillfully blurring the lines between grind, death and sludgecore comes Parole. Their 2012 full-length Grams Of Hate is significantly more refined then their (demo?) EP released a few years earlier while still retaining the Eyehategod-ish feedback and general grittiness of the former. The vocalist(s?) vary between Coffins' Uchino and Exit-13's Bill Yurkiewicz (giving a somewhat cool sludgecrust vibe) while the music is relatively basic groove/death played slow and sleazy. Enough filthy riffs gurgle throughout to satisfy even the most discerning heavy music fanatic - especially the concluding 14-minute epic "Lice." My only complaint is that there are only five tunes. Check 'em here. Enjoy.

Waste On

And Another...

Sheesh, not a day passes and here we are again. Searching the internet for anything by evasive Finnish sludgelords Frogskin, I discover yet another Nordic compilation rife with some of the sicker bands the genre has to offer. Starting this one off is the semi-stupidly named Demonic Death Judge, but what they lack in a cool moniker they make up for with some great Coffins-inspired death sludge. Each of their 7-minute anthems are pounding slabs of tortured riffs and bloodcurling vocals. Next up is Semtex playing a faster quasi-hardcore style much like some of the older Soilent Green material. Lastly is the twisted Nurmijärvi trio Frogskin who deserve to be lumped into the category championed by Loinen and other such lo-fi feedback sludgemongers. Amazingly dismal doom with a slight tinge of Southern States stoner grooves amidst the chaos - well worth the effort this CD took to track down. So grab a euro and head over here to buy it.

Lataamaan

Low Slow Ragnarök-core

Yep, another heartwarming compilation CDr of abominable lo-fi sludgecore straight from the icy republic of Finland. Opening the aural assault is GranG, a brutal three-piece playing wretchedly distorted sludge with so much overdrive it almost degrades into an inaudible wall of noise. Awesome stuff for purveyors of Loinen, Stumm and their miserable ilk. Phenylketonuria follows with an epic half hour of trippy sludgy funeral doom which has its moments and is much better then most offerings in a genre that I don't really like anyway. The warm hum of blazing amp tubes adds a unique layer on this surreal melodic ode to destroying the world - it's surprisingly hypnotic and almost sounds like something Ween could have done had they gone into darker places with The Pod. Wrapping up F.F.13.1970 (named for the release date of Black Sabbath's debut record) is the aforementioned Loinen and their abject composition "Lapamato" ("Tapeworm"). Imagine summoning the worst memories of your life and condensing them into a agonizingly bleak 16-minute opus and you get an idea of what to expect. Truly one of their best recordings (in the feedback-laden cassette-deck lo-fi style of Muta Core) from a band who constantly amazes me with their unrepentant self-loathing. Speaking of whom, I just discovered a webpage apparently written by one of the band members which showcases their entire discography, lyrics and song history - cool stuff. Enjoy.

Hail The Klaan Of The Anal Witch!

ボリス

To be honest, once I got over my fleeting fascination with experimental drone and noise a few years ago, there wasn't a lot in Boris' extensive discography that kept me interested. Nothing particularly against their style, just very little of theirs that I would ever consider giving repeated listens to. When I eventually came across 2002's Heavy Rocks and found it their best work, excellent lo-fi hardcore/stoner/sludge in the vein of Men Of Porn or Church Of Misery. "Dyna-Sour" is my favorite - a fuzz-laden rocker with shades of Budgie's "Breadfan". Yeah there's some ambient-ish instrumental stuff sprinkled in between but it isn't overpowering and fits rather well. And the epic "鐘" really makes me wish I fucking knew how to speak Japanese. Enjoy.

ダウンロード

All Hallows' Eve

Absolutely mandatory. Easily the best Misfits record out there - of course it's mostly Glenn overdubbing nearly every instrument but who cares. Every song on this one is a keeper, from the opener "Static Age" the quasi-Elvish "American Nightmares." "TV Casualty" is probably my favorite Misfits song ever. Legendary horror punk from the founders of the genre - doesn't get any better than this for a Halloween soundtrack.

 Come Back

I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually Harassing Women

Occasionally I'll drive the wife's car to the sto' and not feel like putting on the iPod or scanning for some sports so I'll deal with whatever pop radio she's been tuned to. I'm usually prepared for an absolutely miserable barrage of the worst fucking music ever but occasionally a really agonizing shitstain of a song floats above the rest. Today that polished turd was "Same Love". It wasn't the painfully rudimentary white-boy lyrics vying for KRS-One-ish "edutainment". It was sitting through the the talentless "she keeps me warm" caterwauling chorus that truly made me want to vomit. Ugh. Time for some racist, mysogynistic, homophobic, genocidal, xenophobic, hilarious Anal Cunt to get that terribly annoying shit out of my head. Life is fucking hard and generally fucking shitty. Get over yourself and move on.

Connor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Father Sucks

Umeå Hardcore

Man, what a fucking album. The prototype for a million mathcore/screamo/experimental hardcore bands to follow, Sweden's Refused rewrote the book on what a hardcore album should be. One after another epic song - I can't even name how many genres are touched upon within the tight 56 minutes of this bitch. Sadly this 1998 release was way over everyone's head at the time - Godsmack and Soulfly went on to have multi-platinum albums while Refused simply broke up. What a painful fucking shame. Enjoy.

12 Bursts

Apple Pie

Holy fuck, is it early-90's time again? Yep. I don't know how many of you forty-somethings out there were suckered into buying this 1991 debut eponymous release by Queens funk/metal/soul outfit White Trash solely from their catchy "Apple Pie" video. Join the crowd. Months before Nirvana changed the music world forever, White Trash claimed their fifteen minutes of fame with a pretty unique brass take on the metal world which would later be more legitimately (and popularly) usurped by ska. The "Badass Brass" horn section added some much-needed individuality to the band - the music sounds like a cross between the Black Crowes and Fishbone. The annoyingly high-pitched lead singer can get annoying at times but he was actually exactly in sync with what the 90's were offering in terms of vocalists so what can ya do. "Apple Pie" will always be the perennial hit associated with this band but check out "The Crawl" and "Po' White Trash" - guilty runner ups that'll raise a dry smile at your next highschool reunion. Enjoy.

Crawl

Neandercore

Straight outta Kansas City comes the four-man death metal leviathan that is Troglodyte. The album cover had me in a second - a nice homage to any hundred of lurid 1970's B-movie posters (of which I've seen about a million billion of 'em). Initially the song titles may come off as somewhat cheesy - humorous tributes to the legends of Bigfoot and his missing link ilk. But the music delivers so strong that it hardly fucking matters. Fusing a blend of old-school Florida death metal and the current brutal death genre, the band plays a pretty heavy, groovish style which has enough tempo changes within each 2-minute song to keep the most jaded metalhound interested. I haven't been listening to anything particularly heavy lately but this album really hit the spot. "Skunk Ape Rape" and "Fossil" are the standout tracks for me but the whole albums tears the scene a new primal fuckhole. The band is still at it - check out their bandcamp here. Enjoy.

Excavate

Do Or Die

Journeyed up to NYC this weekend to watch my beloved Pats lose to the Jets thanks to some fucking ridiculously obscure (and retarded) special teams penalty. The fact that New England stinks this year doesn't help but come the fuck on. Regardless, tromping around the city I caught a few "YGz" tags across the boroughs and felt like revisiting the one and only "specially priced EP" from Mount Vernon's hip-hop namesake. Their sole 1993 release is pretty typical of its time: heavily-sampled Tommy Boy beats under extensive bravado. Produced by Pete Rock so it sounds like a lot of the other shit floating around but still not without its charm.

Drippin' Bad Like A Kotex

Black & Blue

Another tepid cash-in on GG's demise, Volume 4 of the quasi-infamous Insult & Injury series is nothing more than a sparse set chock-full of aggressive baiting by Allin towards a hostile, bored crowd not in the mood for his incessant ranting. Playing at the long-defunct Rocket club in Providence, RI and evidently booking the gig without a band; GG hijacked the musicians from show-opener diaper rocker/labelmate Algae Afterbirth to create the one-off "Providence Afterbirth Superscum". Comprised of Drool Flemming (guitar), Wypo (drums) and The Phantom (bass), it's unlikely the band did much before the gig than get fucked up so if you're here for tight live renditions of GG's classic scumcore you'll be sadly disappointed; the PAS plod and struggle through the meager set with little aplomb. But in retrospect it hardly matters. The cassette recorder that captured this banal point of history must have been right next to GG's PA since you cannot hear anything else but him. Yelling. A lot. The band seems to be playing in another room and occasionally you'll hear someone in the crowd get loud but other that the oppressive hum of amplifier feedback there's barely any background noise. The scant tracklist is pretty lame, for a 45+ minute gig (pretty long by Allin standards) it's too bad no real classics were dusted off. Instead we get the dullards "Blood For You", "Teacher's Pet", "I Wanna Rape You", "Sluts In The City" and "Drink Fight & Fuck" - and with the endless ranting, technical fuck-ups and overall shittines of the gig it's no wonder why paying customers were challenging GG to brawl halfway in. Allin eventually coaxes a bunch of whores (the Scummettes, 'natch) up on stage for backup vocals on "Sluts In The City" but by that point this CD is really tough to keep listening to. Some guy actually comes along to piss in GG's mouth while he finishes singing "Drink Fight & Fuck" and his gurgle/gag on the yellow stuff is the perfect icing on this putrid cake.

Completists Click Here

C.O.W.

Oh boy, here we go again. How can you turn down an album by a band called Raped By Pigs? Awesome moniker. These Peruvian brutal death metallers go through the motions on their debut EP and it's not all bad, when you get past the utterly nonsensical steamroller vocals (I mean really, are they just saying "reee reee" at this point?) there's definitely some sweet grooves behind all the posturing. "Fetalic Embryongenic Aberration" is amazing, especially the long breakdown at the end. The boys are still at it - a full-length due next week. Go figure.

Let Me Penetrate

Phat As Phuck

I don't know how I ended up with this album, I think I assumed Pudgee was the twin brother of Big L or Treach or whoever else was on Giant at the time. Huge early-90's beats and absolutely obscene lyrics make this one an undiscovered gem of the pre-Clinton-sample era (George Clinton for all you who just landed from Mars). This is a fucking amazing album, almost every song is a fucking attack - the appearances by MC Lyte, Kool G and other veterans only solidify this bitch as the one rapper that got away...

Niguz Fa Life

We're Evil

Well shit, with the posting of über-comp Welcome To Venice last week is it any surprise that this elusive slab of wax would find its way onto the 'Genocide? One of my favorite thrash records of the mid-80's which unbelievably has yet to find its way onto an official CD release, Widespread Bloodshed is easily Mike Muir's finest post circa-1983 Suicidal Tendencies release. The original band spawned from Venice, CA in the early 80's and managed to appear on the I've Got Brain Damage skate comp cassette before crossing paths with Muir on the aforementioned Welcome To Venice LP. Original lead singer Kevin Guercio quickly departed under the new stewardship of Muir and Bloodshed was recorded in 1987. 

I actually wrote a review of the record for my gay-as-fuck high school newspaper all those years ago. While it reads like it was written by a fucking retard it still holds its weight today:

   "During the year recording Suicidal Tendencies' sophomore effort Join The Army, vocalist Mike Muir spent time writing songs, singing and producing records for various Venice, California hardcore/speed metal bands.  Among these bands was No Mercy. No Mercy released their debut album, Widespread Bloodshed/Love Runs Red at some point during the mid-80's and it emerges as one of the best metal/hardcore albums ever to be pressed onto vinyl. 
   "Evil (So Fuckin' Evil)" starts off this album of pure chaotic intensity. A telephone ring breaks the cold silence. "Hello?" asks a startled young woman. The phone clicks dead. Another ring. "Hello? Hello?" the woman nervously inquires, feeling the skin on the back of her neck begin to crawl. A sharp blast of feedback is the only reply. Silence. The phone rings once again. "Who are you?" the terrified woman cries. "WE'RE FUCKIN' EVIL yeahhhhhh!" Widespread Bloodshed/Love Runs Red  has begun.
   The songs on this album deal with subjects of a dark, mysterious, evil nature. Nightmares, murder, Judgement Day and cemeteries are only some of the troubling song topics lyrically explored by Muir. The opening to "I'm Your Nightmare" recalls the eerie thumping bass track from Dawn Of The Dead (originally recorded by the Italian gothic metal band Goblin). The 7-minute epic "Waking The Dead" is one of the best metal songs ever be recorded. Guitarist Mike Clark fulfills the double duties of rhythm and lead guitar to perfection. Drummer Sal Troy (whose opening solo to "Waking The Dead" kicks ass) and bassist Ric Clayton also emerge as talented musicians.
   No Mercy is a group whose future I look forward to. Their unique rolling, pounding beat is betrayed slightly by the amateurish production values, though it emerges relatively unscathed. All in all, Widespread Bloodshed/Love Runs Red is one of the best fuckin' albums ever recorded. What else is there to say but to buy this album before you die."

Man, I was a cool teenager. Not much has changed in 25 years. Enjoy.

Welcome To The Nightmare

I Pity The Fool

I don't know how this one escaped me for over a decade; huge 2001 release by Bronx DJ extraordinaire Mr. Len who cut his turntable teeth DJ-ing for NYC indie unit Company Flow (whom if you never heard check 'em out - they are fucking awesome). A compilation of sorts featuring a multitude of different vocalists ranging from underground acts like the Juggaknots and MassInfluence to established rappers like Q-Unique and Chubb Rock. Len's beats vary across the hip-hop spectrum but all stay solid - the hook for me on this one is the prodigious "The Hurt" featuring female rap protegé Jean Grae. Kinda sounding like Bjork's "Army Of Me"- a dark piano groove beneath Grae's sweetly expletive-laden vocals makes this one a keeper.

Experiments In Therapy Behind The Mask Of Music While Handing Out Dummysmacks

Crayola

Man, still reeling from the 18 heart attacks on Sunday after the Patriots and Red Sox last minute wins (as well as the debilitating two-day hangover which came with it) - allow me to try to get my ass in gear and introduce Mr. Bungle worship act Kids Eat Crayons. Honestly, it wouldn't be hard to convince most folk that this group actually was Patton and his boys performing under a different name. The band plays a ridiculously technical cacophony of experimental jazz, metal, thrash, funk (you name it) to the point that I am amazed the guys can actually repeat perform their songs. "Best Friend Clio" is my favorite track - somewhat reminiscent of Faith No More's heavier riff style - really cool stuff. Enjoy.

Fish Don't Swim

What's Up?

Ah, good ol' Fatlip. Sportin' the diaper, trenchcoat, wine and Walkman. Debut single from the ex-Pharcyde wordsmith. The title track is the hook - a hilariously self-depriciating rant about himself that is as smooth as it is funny. The other two tunes are hit and miss - an epic ode to the female ass entitled "Goldmine" is pretty good while the instrumental "Edy's Groove" is just sort of dull. Oh well, two outta three ain't bad. Enjoy.

Oh Shit

The Cost Of Being Two

Nice blackened sludge doom debut from Murfreesboro, TN. The tracks deviate between 10+ minute dirges of sludge to short seances of weird ambient drone. The longer tunes suffer a bit by sounding a little too much the same (most of the "song" tracks have an identical intro-heavy-bridge-heavy-outro formula) - while nothing too original it is definitely pained and miserable enough to devote a solid listen. And I actually really dig the dissonant instrumental stuff in between songs. The band changed its name to avoid any legal complications and is evidently still at it so give 'em a listen. Enjoy.

Battle Path

Grind Jazz Improv

Yet another Seth Putnam side-project instigated by Siege drummer Rob Williams. Building on the random jazz-jam hardcore style heard on Siege's 7-minute epic "Grim Reaper" on their 1984 debut, Rob assembled Putnam, alto sax legend Jim Hobbs and ex-Nothings guitarist Chris Joyce into the Death's Head Quartet. Their eponymous album is a two-hour free-form jazz/noise/blur improvisational wall of sound - impossible to repeat such a session. The thundering background of bass and guitar give the initial impression of typical noisecore but the drumming and sax really pull this album out of the swamp. Putnam growls and gurgles some AC-esque vocals here and there which almost make you think you're listening to what Full Blown A.I.D.S. could have turned into. Occasionally Williams seems to be just fucking around (I mean it is free-form I guess) but then he breaks into something wicked cohesive and you realize he's not just phoning it in. The songs titles and breaks are simply arbitrary - listen to this bitch from start to finish - great mowing-the-lawn background noise. Enjoy.

7

Black Gold

Oh man, is this the fucking most awesome thing ever? Possibly the greatest juxtapositional mixtape in musical history, the combination of Jimi Hendrix and the Wu-Tang Clan is, quite simply, amazing. Named after the mysterious "final" album demo recorded by Hendrix (which only he and Mitch Mitchell ever heard), Black Gold is a mashup in the same vein as Danger Mouse's Grey Album but significantly more epic. The Hendrix samples span all his official albums as well as interviews, radio spots, studio and live stuff - afficionados will be happy to hear really obscure bootleg clips here and there. The Wu were completely behind the project and actually recorded new vocals as well as contributing their extensive catalog. An insanely extensive song-by-song sample breakdown appears here - well worth a read for the serious listener. All in all, this is an amazing album for fans of either artist and a fucking goldmine for fans of both. A labor of love by producer Tom Caruana. Thanks man.

The Wind Cries Method Man

Look Up.....

1985 was a transitional year for SoCal thrashcore. Suicidal Tendencies had really taken over the scene after their eponymous 1983 debut and had started their own label (Suicidal Records, 'natch) to which they attracted a bunch of local acts, many associated with ST lead singer Mike Muir. The label's first release was the appropriately named Welcome To Venice compilation LP featuring local acts Suicidal, No Mercy, Excel, Beowülf and Los Cycos. In the same way N.W.A. would champion Compton a few years later - Venice, CA was the ST stomping ground and would stay the headquarters for the LA thrash movement until it was eaten alive by grunge in the early 90's. The comp is notable simply that it contains probably the weakest early material by all of the bands on it (save for Suicidal who I think shot their wad with the first album and never recovered) - as well as the fact that nearly every band sounds exactly the same. Now this could be because Muir was the singer for two of them or the fact that they were trading band members like fucking dominoes or it could just be coincidence. Suicidal's solo entry "Look Up..... (The Boys Are Back)" showcases the near-final transition of a once amazing hardcore band into the pretty tame thrash outfit they would become on '87's flaccid Join The Army. Beowülf do their Motörhead thing satisfactorily, No Mercy belt out a couple tracks with original singer Kevin Guercio (Muir would take the vocal reigns for the band's 1987 full-length debut) - their song "War Machine" would eventually be retooled into "Crazy But Proud" on the Widespread LP. Los Cycos were basically the original ST lineup with a new rhythm guitarist and No Mercy's drummer. Their song "It's Not Easy" probably sounds familiar because ST re-recorded it for their Feel Like Shit... joke of a record years later. It is such a sad song when regarding the talent behind it - really shows what Amery Smith brought to ST's old sound... But I digress, wrapping up the album are a solid three tracks by 'Genocide fave Excel. Not their best stuff by far but still great - I dig the instrumental "Enforcer" the most. In short, Welcome To Venice is a perfect snapshot of a long gone era; 30 minutes of an amazingly specific crossover thrash sound that went as fast as it came.

The Boys Are Back

+K

Jesus, how the fuck is that not commercial suicide to call yourself fucking "Positive K" in 1992? The era of Onyx championing themselves as the bald headed niggaz, Ice Cube celebrating the LA riots, Paris rallying the Black Panthers and Redman extolling the everyday thug life - and you got a guy from the Bronx with the balls to call himself "positive"? Oh well, good for him I guess. You probably remember his quickly annoying "I Got A Man" quasi-duet (it's actually him doing the female vocals) from Yo MTV Raps! but to be honest the album is not nearly as pussified as you would expect. It kinda sounds like every rap album that was coming out of Island Records at the time (Tone Loc, Stereo MC's, Young MC, 3rd Bass, etc etc etc) but there are some somewhat fresh beats here and there. "Nightshift" is fucking tight (thanks to much help from Big Daddy Kane) and "The Shout Out" is a great tune. Enjoy a pretty good party album that isn't too offensive and much respect to Darryl Gibson for having the balls to give a constructive moniker a try.

Ain't No Crime

Mean Ass Pop Punk

Writing the Facts About Rats post the other night got me to revisit this 2000 classic by New Hampshire pop punk mainstays The Queers. Beyond The Valley Of The Assfuckers is my favorite in the band's extensive 30+ year discography - a statement that surely will get a small pocket of New Englandahs drunk on Magic Hat gathering their torches and pitchforks in a rage. That was a weird time in music - bands like Green Day and Blink-182 (especially) who were directly influenced by the Queers were controlling the punk scene and the Queers were just trying to catch a wave on the tsunami they created. Fucking strange. Anyways, this album has been criticized for being "too dark" and not quite as funny as their other material. What the assfuck ever. This album is fucking dark and absolutely hilarious. If you find yourself chuckling at shit like "Animal Mother" in Full Metal Jacket or Fulci's Touch Of Death you will fucking love this. A mean-spirited journey by a band who was probably pissed off they never got the credit they deserved. Oh well, you know you guys are called the "Queers" y'know.

To Me She's Just A Stupid Fuckin' Slut

Those crazy Nutmeggers

Here's a sold 16-minute live set from Connecticut black metallers Profanatica. Recorded at the defunct underground haven G. Willikers in Pennsauken, NJ, the band tears through five of their most blasphemous classics with typical Jesus-hating panache. I'm pretty sure this gig did not show up on their obscure Live CD from 2001 - I actually ripped it from some bootleg DVD I got of the band ages ago. Interestingly, the DVD also has a pretty thorough interview with Paul and his cronies that ends with Ledney pissing in a glass and gargling it while he torches a bible (and extinguishes it with said urine). Sorry to all but I unfortunately didn't have time to rip that as well. Next time... next time...

1991

Desolation

In the mood for some suicidal, desperate, bleak-ass drone? In the cancerous vein of Otesanek (who I'm sure were inspired by these guys) comes Khanate - the eminent purveyors of absolutely minimalist doomcore. Somewhat of a sludge supergroup comprised of members from Burning Witch (vocalist with whom you'll definitely hear his influence), OLD and Blind Idiot God; Khanate slowed the tempo even more and upped the feedback. Of course - as with all bands of this ilk - there's a point reached where the song just turns into background noise but Khanate keeps it somewhat fresh with a chord change here and there and some pretty psychotic vocal nuances. Keep skinning those cats guys. Try to enjoy.

Go Viral

Go Away

Hells yeah, another band I would have never heard of 'cept for the ultimate compilation of the early 90's - Ax/ction Records' Apocalyptic Convulsions. Boston's Facts About Rats easily claimed the trophy for catchiest tune on the record - a forlorn pop punk single "Still Want You." To be honest, the song seemed completely out of place on a compilation rife with blur, powerviolence and grindcore but it actually remains my guilty favorite to this day. Up until recently I could find absolutely no information on the band save for a few vague details - how pleased I was to finally discover their only other release - a 3-song 7" from 1992. And what a nice surprise, 3 songs in the "Still Want You" flavor - sweet punky odes to terrible relationships. The title "I Don't Wanna Get Involved With You" is the standout - a better-than-the-original cover of an old Queers song with some great Misfits-ish "wah-ah-oohhh" elements that really shine. The other tunes are solid B-sides - would love to have heard some more from these guys. Enjoy.

Oh-Wah-Oh-Wah-Ah-Oooohhhh

Reminiscing

Got into a conversation with a college roommate of mine tonight and joked about my idiotic falling asleep in class story. Mind you, thank fuck this was eons before the fucking social media bullshit of today - if it wasn't I'd have probably killed my self ages ago out of sheer embarassment. Regardless - story starts on some random Sunday night, 1992. For some reason our acid dealer only came around late Sunday nights - no real big deal except for the fact that his acid tended to have a ton of fucking speed in it so  you simply had to resign yourself to the fact you weren't going to sleep for about 36 hours after you dropped. Like usual we did drop - a lot - and 20-year old shenanigans commenced. 99% of the time I would fuck off my Monday morning classes but for some reason that morning I was all condescendingly like "fuck it, it's time to learn." I wandered through the snow and the other million miserable students to get to the gigantic fucking stadium where I had a mid-level bio class. I sat directly in the middle of a 250+ auditorium and promptly pulled out my sketch pad. Figured I would just draw and doodle some trippy shit for a bit...

Wow! That fucking class went fast. Looked around and people are filing out. Got my tired ass up and wandered outside - into total fucking darkness. Seems I had passed out for nearly 14 fucking hours in the middle of one of the busiest class auditoriums in the school. Best guess, 6 two-hour classes came and went with my snoring ass sitting in the middle gulping air to live. If it was today there probably would have been hourly webcam updates on my snoozing and bets on whether I would make it through the night. All I remember is being really fucking hungry and having to answer a lot of "where the fuck were you all day" questions. Thank cunt my worst drug habits were before Facebook existed.

Oh yeah, and at that time I was also really fucking into Ministry. Enjoy.

Biting The Hand That Feeds

Dude, what the fuck is up with Finland? The sludgecore/doom coming out of that country is the most depressing, bitter shit I have ever heard. Fleshpress is probably the most established act but insofar as mere bleakness, Loinen and Usko come to mind - absolutely tortured soundscapes of screams and double bass-guitar blasts to send you to hell. Turku's Stumm is from the same gutter as the latter. Painful, unending riffs with the most miserable gurgling screams to keep it all together. Each of their four ten-minute or so songs could be an album in themselves - simple feedback-laden, misanthropic blasts of misery - awesome shit.

I

Doh-Doh and Dingbat

If it wasn't for the internet I'm sure I would have never heard of the Queens, NY duo Hoodratz. Sporting a pair of ridiculous pseudonyms, they released on album in 1993 and promptly disappeared. Surprisingly, Sneeke Muthafuckaz, their provokingly titled (and retardedly spelt) debut is actually pretty good. The beats are tight and kinda remind me of the stuff Big L was doing at the time. Rhymes are nice as well, which is a lot since I was expecting absolute terribleness. "Bootlegga" is a fucking great track and "Mrs. Crabtree" always raises a dry smile. Enjoy.

Git Off Ma Dic